But did you go alone?

Ten years and many destinations later, I still frequently hear this question, in a tone of astonishment, admiration, and even pity.

Yes, alone. Completely alone. No, I didn't have any friends with me. Yes, I have friends. But the date wasn't right. Nobody was interested. Yes, maybe it would have been more fun. No, it wasn't bad. No, I don't think it's crazy. Yes, alone.

It all started in May 2013. It was a cold night. I, my passport, my suitcase, and my many fears went through boarding, got on the plane, and set off on what would be my first solo trip. Swallowing tears and maintaining the pose of a confident woman, which I repeated countless other times.

Even though I'm already an adult, independent, living alone for quite some time now, outside my home state, and already in the habit of doing many things alone – beach, cinema, museums, restaurants – traveling in this way had never crossed my mind.

Until it happened. I took vacation time and didn't know anyone who could travel on the same dates. It was either go alone or do nothing. Since by then the travel bug had already bitten me – and since I was in a position to plan financially for it – I went.

Of course, in practice, the decision wasn't so simple. Many questions, many fears, much research, many sleepless nights. What if I didn't like it? What if people noticed I was alone and thought I was ridiculous? What if something horrible happened to me? What if everything went wrong? What seemed like a labyrinth where I felt lost, in the end became an infinity of possibilities. I faced every entrance and every road I could face.

I took that cliché, "if you're afraid, go anyway," literally. Because fear, unfortunately, is a constant in our lives. No matter where. We women live in a patriarchal society and are exposed to various forms of violence all the time, anywhere. Inevitably, given all this, undertaking a trip alone is a decision surrounded by anxieties and difficult to make.

We are still given little (or no) encouragement to be independent. We receive disapproving looks whenever we do anything on our own. We are judged for making our own decisions, for the clothes we wear, and for the experiences we choose to live – including traveling. And we have to keep going, despite that. To forge our own path (already paved by so many who came before) and, little by little, break other paradigms and change even more situations.

It was thinking about all of this that, in addition to the travel tips I already shared on my blog, Mariana Viaja, I also started focusing on the fact that I was traveling alone. There (and on Instagram @marianaviaja) I tell stories, share tips and information about my travels – a little bit of everything I intend to do here as well, in this new space I'm now a part of.

I find it difficult to use personal experiences as a basis for advising others to do the same, because that's definitely not how things work. And I want to make it clear that I don't think every woman has to travel alone. But I know there are many who like (or would like) to travel that way, and I think every woman should have that right. My goal will always be to show possibilities.

May each of us increasingly occupy the spaces we desire. And may we live without needing to explain ourselves or try to prove that our choices are legitimate. We are many, thankfully. Different paths, different journeys. But all of us, in some way, opening new eyes – and new spaces – out there.